This is what I've learned from June 11, 2012 — the date that marks one year of marriage to the man of my dreams, and possibly one of the worst days of my life.
You see, this weekend we went to Spokane for a friends wedding. We thought it would be a good idea to fly. I barely made it out (like last seat on the last flight Sunday) and Garrett was left behind. He tried to get out today but couldn't. Today is our anniversary.
So, onto the five things I learned today. It's kind of long, but it was a really, really long day:
1. Even when he's not there, my husband still loves me.
I really struggled with this when I first got married. I wasn't very good at commitment because I couldn't trust someone to be loyal to me all the time. I often thought if Garrett wasn't looking at me, conversing with me and consciously thinking about me he didn't love me.
Thankfully, I was wrong.
I've learned it's okay for us to have to spend some time apart. He needs to work, I need to take care of the house, that's how it was meant to be. I trust him 100 percent to love me wherever he is. That trust has made our relationship so much better.
2. The time we've had together makes up for the time we've spent apart.
Just a few weeks after my parents were married, my father had to report to pilot training. He was gone for 6 weeks. However, that wasn't the end of it. I feel comfortable saying they probably spent more of their first year apart than together.
My boss told me about a women who just passed at 90 years old. She first got married during WWII. She had a baby. Her husband was killed on D-Day. They didn't even have a first anniversary.
Then there's me. Yes, I didn't get to spend a single moment of my anniversary day with my husband, but, except for 5 days for him to take the MCAT in Arizona and the past 2 spent in airports, I have spent everyday of the past year with him. More so, even while he was gone I was able to call, text and bug him as much as I could ever want.
If I have to give up one day for a whole year I'll take it.
3. There are good people everywhere who take care of those we love.
An unnamed person working for an unnamed airline in an unnamed airport at an undisclosed time (sorry, I don't want to get this person in trouble) noticed my husband as he spent half of Sunday and all of today at the airport missing flights. Again, today was our anniversary.
Out of pure kindness, this man called my husband up.
"Don't tell a soul," they said. "Meet me in the food court."
A few minutes later this person came to the food court — food vouchers in hand — and took care of my husband when I couldn't.
I am so grateful for good people in this world — grateful that they will reach out for a lonely person practically living in an airport. I don't know who this person is, and that's probably a good thing, but I wish I could give my gratitude.
4. I'd be nowhere without my family — new and old.
Since my husband couldn't make it home, I didn't really want to spend my anniversary in our apartment. Luckily, my mother realized this and invited me up to Heber for some food. I was so grateful I had family to take me in when all other plans had fallen through. I was extremely blessed.
While at my parents, I got a wonderful text from Garrett's cousin, Stacie inviting me to ice cream.
"I know I am no garrett, but if you want we should go to ice cream or something for your anniversary," she texted. "... I just didn't want you to be alone."
Though I couldn't go, since I was in Heber, I was grateful someone cared enough to call.
As if this wasn't already enough, my dad noticed someone was coming to the door — Grandma and Grandpa McCoy. They had driven from Springville to Heber (about an hour) in order to deliver a dozen red roses and a card from Garrett. They didn't want me to have a failed anniversary.
I couldn't believe how kind they were. They drove all that way for a 15 minute stay right before dark. I will never be able to tell them how much that meant to me.
5. We should be grateful for law enforcement officers. I'm still working on this one.
My day had finally gotten better — well, as good as it could get considering I was still husband-less. I made my way down the mountain and back to Provo, but before I could get to Heber's Main Street, I saw flashing red and blue lights in my windshield.
I don't speed.
The officer came up. I wanted to tell him how terrible my day had been. I wanted to tell him it was my anniversary. I wanted to tell him that my husband was in Spokane. I wanted to tell him so many things.
Instead, I remained polite and said nothing. I fumbled for my license. Then for my proof of insurance. It was expired.
"Wait!" I said. "I know I have the real one — we have insurance — I promise."
I found the proper proof of insurance. Then he asked for my registration. Again, it was expired.
"I'm so, so sorry. I promise I have it," I said while fumbling through the car pouch.
"Take your time," the officer said calmly.
I was not calm and I still didn't know why I'd gotten pulled over. Again, I don't speed.
"You have a headlight out. Please stay in the car and I'll be right back."
And there he went. Gone. Gone with my license and registration. Gone without even telling me how I was supposed to know my headlight was out. I don't look at the front of the car when I drive — I'm inside of it!
Have you ever noticed that officers take forever when they're back there? I sincerely want to know what they do.
Anyway, after getting a Fix-it ticket (I have to show up in court!) he let me go on my way — and I proceeded to go on my, while calling my husband and sobbing.
Once I had calmed down a bit, however, I realized — how great is it that we live in a country where people are willing to do me a service like that. How would I ever know my headlight was out? I don't routinely walk around my car examining it. Yes, I have to get it fixed in 14 days, but they gave me a deadline, otherwise it would probably never get done — and headlights are kind of important.
So that was my anniversary — I guess it can only go up from there. I've learned a lot this year and I learned a lot yesterday. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, married to the most amazing man and I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with him.
I am the luckiest.
It was for a story I wrote about my amazing father called "Veterans suffer pains of war"(it's on page 6) and how Post Traumatic Stress Disorder plagues veterans long after they leave the war zone.
Garrett finally made it home the day after our real anniversary. I picked him up from the airport, but then we both had to go to work — sometimes it stinks to be responsible adults :P
I really struggled with this when I first got married. I wasn't very good at commitment because I couldn't trust someone to be loyal to me all the time. I often thought if Garrett wasn't looking at me, conversing with me and consciously thinking about me he didn't love me.
Then there's me. Yes, I didn't get to spend a single moment of my anniversary day with my husband, but, except for 5 days for him to take the MCAT in Arizona and the past 2 spent in airports, I have spent everyday of the past year with him. More so, even while he was gone I was able to call, text and bug him as much as I could ever want.
