The CRPS Chronicles

Well, as most people know, I've had Complex Regional Pain Syndrome since I had a knee surgery when I was 16. I'm 23. Just a handful of weeks after having Eli, I witnessed miracle after miracle that finally led to me getting a Spinal Cord Stimulator that has literally changed my life.

Feel free to ask me if you have anymore questions about that, but that's not the point of this post.

I was given just one rule that made me sad upon getting the SCS, I had to turn it off before my next pregnancy. As most people also know (I'm not very secretive about it), that time is coming up.

NO I AM NOT PREGNANT.

Just to clarify.

Anyway, I was holding out some hope that maybe they would make an exception for me and I would get to keep my stimulator on. Well, they didn't. I went to my pain care specialist today, and though he assured me it was still my decision, I did not get the super enthusiastic green light I was hoping for. This means I'll be turning off my stimulator as soon as we decide to start trying (which I will be a little more quiet about, but I can't really hide a limp :P).

I really try to follow the commandment "Fear Not." I'm not going to say this has become a strength, but it at least has become something I'm thinking about. When it comes to making the decision to put myself back in pain — and possibly aid the CRPS in spreading — I'm not just scared, I'm terrified. I've spent many the night panicking to Garrett about all the things that could go wrong, everything that could be negative. I spend very little time having faith.

But Garrett is perfect, so he's always able to be the voice of reason. He told me that if he only looked at all the things that could go wrong he would never be in medical school. He wouldn't be pursuing dermatology. We probably wouldn't have had Eli. We probably wouldn't have gotten married. Things can always go wrong. That's life. It's the risk we took coming here. But we've received the commandment to "Fear not" because it will all work out. I'm not saying the next year of my life is going to be the best, but I know it's the right decision. We've prayed, fasted and now it's time for us to trust.

How else do we grow?

Well, I'll keep everyone updated in my own slow little way. Probably not as updated as my family would like, but they now know more than they knew with Eli :P

iPhone Family Photo — and an update

Last Sunday we all happened to match. Now, if you know me, you know this is rare. I hate matching. However, it turned into something good this time — an iPhone family picture :D

Things are going really well around the McCoy house.

Garrett is studying hard and realizing how awesome it is to have Kendell, Phil, Justin and Jordan go through medical school before him. Their advice has been so helpful and has really spurred us into action. Garrett is already preparing for boards, studying for his 2nd year classes, continuing his research, serving in the Elders Quorum and being an amazing father and husband. I don't know how he does it all — but he does fall asleep on the couch a lot ;)

I'm doing really well. The past few weeks I've actually felt normal. I don't get stuck in bed anymore, I can leave the house and, best of all, I'm actually doing chores around the house. This in no way means my house is immaculate, but I've cooked dinner every day this week and Garrett has yet to run out of underwear. That's pretty good in my book.

And little Eli. I love that kid so much (another thing that's really made me feel normal). He has started to color and doesn't actually eat that many crayons, which is nice. He also says Mom, Dad and Jesus and has specific noises for Yes, Hello and Car (Vroooooooom). He's so mellow and happy — and crazy! He never stops moving unless he's asleep. I've even taken to letting him have a toy car at dinner so he doesn't throw his food. Oh, the things I swore I'd never do... :D

That's really all I can think of from the McCoy family. Life is normal, crazy and wonderful. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.